Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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