dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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