at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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