so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
