I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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