So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is wine microwaveable?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
