and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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