He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
