Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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