Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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