I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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