The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
