In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
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I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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