then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
