Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
