listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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