My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize