she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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