WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
