im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
