So drunk its hurt
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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