You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
