I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize