we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
