They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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