Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
