we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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