i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You made out with two different species that night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
