He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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