Where did you get a picture of my penis
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
