he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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