Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
