let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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