turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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