Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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