even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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