apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
