so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
