A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
