oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
