Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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