singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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