We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
