I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
