I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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