I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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