Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
