I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
