Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
