Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
