The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
