Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
