it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
