we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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