put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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