i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
