I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
