I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
