I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
BRING THE BAGELS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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