I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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