i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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